Two Truths and a Lie
by fantasy chocolate roses
Summary: Desperate to leave this world, Utau writes a note telling El, Il, Ikuto, and Amu what she has done. She jumps of the bridge hoping to leave, but Il's brother Kukai, saves her. As he tries to help Utau, will Utau run away or stay in his embrace? Rated T for character self-suicide and minor cussing.


**Two Truths and a Lie**

_Give up on life like life has given up on you._

_ I hate you._

_Go die Hoshina Utau._

_ No one likes you._

_Hinamori's only your friend out of pity. Same with everyone else._

_ Back-stabber._

_Friend stealer._

_ Worthless piece of trash._

_Next time? Cut deeper._

_ -Queen._

...

"You want to play Utau?" a sweet voice said.

"Play what?" Utau growled.

"Two truths and a lie of course silly!" she voice said while giggling.

Utau knew what would happen but she sighed hoping it might be different this time around. "Alright Saaya." Saaya smirked.

"Here I go! I hate Utau. I think Utau is trash. I love Utau. Can you guess what the lie is Utau?" Holding back tears, Utau rushed out of the school. "Weakling," Saaya said victoriously.

…

Utau grabbed her fancy stationary paper, her pen and started to write.

_El, Il, Ikuto, Amu,_

_I'm sorry. I tried to be strong. I tried to withstand their taunts. I tried to keep living like you told me. But it's not changing for the better; it's actually changing for the worse. I've tried to stay strong but I can't anymore. I needed someone all this time. Someone that could listen to me. Someone that could help me. Someone who I could trust. Someone who could stop me. I can't take it anymore. I can't. Hidden by a shadow while inside preparing for battle. Two faces but just one mind, all trying to tie and bind. I've tried to be strong; I've tried for so long. No one cares, and no one stares. And soon you'll be rid of me. And I'll be forgotten, a shadow, and no longer here. Stay strong guys. Something that I couldn't do. You're better without me. Stay strong. It's not any of your guys' faults. So don't blame yourself okay? Just, keep living for me. Kay?_

_-Utau _

…

"Mom! Have you seen Utau? She didn't come home with me," seventeen year old Tsukiyomi Ikuto shouted. His mother just shook her head. Confused, Ikuto opened the door to Utau's room. He saw an envelope sitting neatly on the desk. He approached it. It read in Utau's messy scrawl. _El, Il, Ikuto, Amu. _Curious, Ikuto wondered what it was. Since it was addressed to the four of them, so he would wait until tomorrow at school. Looking around, he saw a piece of paper on the ground. Looking at it, he saw that Utau was crying. His eyes widened as he read the letter to his little sister. He dropped the letter. Hoping he was wrong, he opened the envelope.

…

Amu, Il, El, and Kukai rushed to the Tsukiyomi's. Ikuto handed them the envelope. Kukai looked angry. "If it has nothing to do with me, why bring me?" Ikuto had brought Kukai to support his sisters Il and El. Right on cue, El started to cry. Kukai looked bewildered. Amu started to cry silently, tears rushing down her cheeks. Even Il, the toughest, had tears in her eyes. As El started to wail, Kukai looked at Ikuto with questions in his eyes. Kukai knew Utau, but he wasn't counted as close. Ikuto tossed Kukai the envelope and the letter from "Queen." As Kukai read it, his eyes widened. "Who the heck is this 'Queen'?"

Il hiccupped. "Saaya," she whispered angrily. Kukai raised an eyebrow. "I'm going to make Saaya regret she messed with Utau." Ikuto nodded. Kukai was surprised. Il and Ikuto never agreed on anything. Dang, Utau must be important. "Utau's like our second sister," Il explained. "She's been pretty depressed. Her story wouldn't be counted all bubbly. She's been bullied, teased and been through hell. She's tried committing self-suicide four times already. It's been all over the school. Rumors. Untrue. All of them." Kukai felt sheepish. He had believed every single rumor Saaya had said to him. Maybe that's why he was disgusted by the thought of having his sister's be friends with Utau.

"So…what do you think she's doing right now?" Ikuto asked. "She didn't come home with me…" Everyone shook their head. And Amu spoke up.

"Isn't it obvious?" she said, still crying softly, "Utau's committing suicide right now."

Everyone stared at her. Then everything got loud. "Where would she go?" Ikuto growled. Amu knew Utau the best.

"Well, she can skate on ice. But…" Amu hesitated. She was going to spill the secret the Utau made her promise not to tell. "She's been cutting," Amu whispered. "Utau's been cutting. I help her wrap up her cuts. She's been cutting for seventeen days…" Amu trailed off.

"What?" Ikuto said roughly.

"She told me to choose a number. I thought the bigger the better. So I chose seventeen."

"So?" Il asked.

"Each day, she would cut herself once and cross out the seventeen and replace it with another. Like if she cut herself once, she would cross out seventeen and write sixteen," Amu said. She was sobbing now. "She's cut herself seventeen times already."

"So?" Ikuto said impatiently.

"After the seventeen days are up, she's going to kill herself to join her mom and sister," Amu whispered. "Today's the eighteenth. The seventeen days are over."

…

Her blonde hair whipped through the air. Her amethyst eyes filled with fear and tears. "Gomen Amu. Gomen Ikuto. Gomen Il. Gomen El. Gomen Otou-san. Nana [1], I can't wait to see you." Tears streaked down her face as rain started to pour. It was getting dark, even if it was only 4:00 pm. She stared fearfully in the dark raging water below her. She couldn't swim; it was always her weak point. She closed her eyes. "You told me to live my life Nana. You told me to promise you I would live my life. To stay strong. That I needed to be here. But I never did promise remember? You passed away before I could nod and say anything. So I'm not breaking anything. Okaa-san, aren't you happy you can see me again?" she breathed. She threw her bag first. All her razors went down. Her school things. Her poetry. Her drawings. Her writings. The hate letters. She felt completely free. Free of her burden. Free of the hate. But deep inside her, she knew she would never be free. She had an anchor attached to a chain. The chain was attached to her. The anchor was in her bag. She felt drawn into the water. She was being pulled to the water. Her sobs became louder and louder. She stepped over the railing and looked into the waters. She took a deep breath and sat onto the metal railing.

"NO! UTAU!" she was aware of people screaming. She could make out Il screaming, El and Amu crying and Ikuto shouting colorful words at her. She saw a speck of brown. She frowned in disgust. Kukai was here. "UTAU!" Il screamed. She threw her head back and laughed.

"So many people care about me. No, just joking. There are only four people I can trust. There are only four people alive that I care about. Er…there's Otou-san but…" She was aware of Il still screaming. She was aware of Ikuto running up the bridge. She was aware of his hands coming to grab her and pull her off the railing. But as he tried, she just moved further away until there was no more railing to stay on. "Ikuto," Utau said. She was sobbing at this point. "Please. Leave me alone." Ikuto resigned but as she got up, he screamed and tried to grab her. She jumped back onto the bridge and got to the middle of the railing. Standing on the railing, she smiled at Il, El and Amu. She lifted both her feet off the railing and she plunged into the raging currents below.

…

Amu was screaming. Il and El were screaming and Ikuto was cursing. None of them could swim. None of them knew this was going to happen. Amu was screaming. Aruto was screaming too. His daughter… Ikuto was screaming from the bridge. El and Il were hugging each other and wailing. Kukai was staring. He had never known anyone so miserable that they would commit self suicide. 911 was called and sirens were wailing in the background. It all replayed in Kukai's head. A beautiful girl with blonde hair and closed eyes plunged into the icy despairs of the water. She was smiling like she was free from everything. She was happy.

Someone had called the rescue team and they had boats ready. They were searching for her.

…

Utau had a panic attack under the water. She was scared of the water, she was quite terrified. She reached out to take a gasp of air. But she remembered that she was drowning herself. She couldn't stay alive. But she felt a tug as a strong hand clasped onto her out reached arm and pulled her to the surface.

…

Il and El were screaming. They had witnessed their best friend drown herself and their brother had just jumped into the water to search for her. They knew Kukai could hold his breath for five minutes at the most so they waited for five minutes. At four minutes and thirty-nine seconds (El was counting) his head burst out of the water, gasping for breath. As he swam to the side, El saw that he was dragging a limp body belonging to Utau. The police and rescue team pulled them out of the cold water and layed Utau on a stretcher.

"Is she breathing?" Amu asked the doctor.

"Hard to say. We don't have enough time to check her pulse right now. We got to get her moving or they'll even less of a chance that she survives," the doctor said seriously. Amu nodded. She dragged herself to Kukai who had brought his knees close to himself and stared at the bridge and out to the sunset.

"Why did you do it?" Amu whispered.

"Huh?"

"Why did you save Utau? You were disgusted by the facts that your sister's were friends with Utau. So why didn't you let her just die? Wouldn't it have made your reputation better," Amu said venomously, "so shove off. I don't care if you saved her, but you aren't going to hurt her more than she already is." Kukai looked surprised.

"No…I wasn't disgusted…." Her withered under her dark look. "Well I was, but I couldn't let her die! I might have believed all the rumors, but I couldn't let her die!"

Amu scoffed. "Yeah right." She spun around leaving Kukai confused and utterly at a loss of words.

…

Utau woke to the white ceiling of the hospital. "Oh hell no," she whispered.

"Hell no what?"

Utau turned her head. Seeing a speck of brown hair, she scoffed. "And how is that your business?"

"I saved you last night."

Silence.

"What the hell do you want? Do you want to know my story and so you can tell it? Spread it to Saaya? Watch me die again and laugh? Do you want to open my scars again? Do you want to see me cry? Do you want to hurt me? Do you want to be the reason I die? Do you want to drive me insane? Do you want to make me lose my temper? Do you want to be killed? What the hell did I do to you? And Saaya? What did I do to her? What did I do to God?"

Silence.

"Look, I just want to he—"

"Like hell you want to help," Utau grumbled.

"Shut the hell up. You don't know who I am. 'I needed someone all this time. Someone that could listen to me. Someone that could help me. Someone who I could trust. Someone who could stop me.' I'll be that person okay? I'll help you through this. I'll listen to you. I'll seal your secrets. I'll stop you. I'll be the one you need."

Utau opened her mouth to reply, but Kukai cut her off. "I admit that I believed every rumor about you. I admit that I believed Saaya. I'll admit all of that. Okay? I'm ashamed of myself for being so me. Alright? I'll try to broaden my sights. I didn't know anyone would be so alone. I know you're going to make this smart retort, but just listen okay? I'm not that perfect soccer player who has like a hundred varsity jackets and awards. I'm not that guy okay? I'm hiding my true self.

"I was seven when my mother died. She was chasing after me after an argument. She was hit by a car and died almost immediately. Il and El were still six. They were led away from the sight. Since they didn't know much before, they sure as hell don't remember anything. My dad called me a murderer for five years after that. I was eleven when he started to abuse me. Il and El were never home when this happened. They never knew. They only knew when I was eleven I started to keep a mask up. I started disappearing into my room more often. I know they both saw my bruises, cuts, and gashes.

"It took me a long time to start trusting people. I kept a mask up all the time. When I was twelve, I ran away from home. My dad, seeing he lost his new toy, ran to catch me. He got into a crash like my mom. I had a spasm on the road and was run over. It wasn't too bad. My dad died immediately like my mom. Il, El, and I were sent to our aunt and uncle. They were good to us. In fact, we're still in their care today. At age thirteen, I met your brother. I met Ikuto on the field. He was a great soccer player. I stood there staring at him play. I felt like one of those fangirls. But the ball somehow landed at my feet. The coach told me to kick it back. And I did. It shot to the other goal. Everyone gawked at me. I thought I had done something wrong, so I apologized. But then the coach smiled and told me to join the team. Then, I started to work nonstop. That was because I found something I loved. Something that I enjoyed. Something that I could do right. Something that no one could find faults in. I started to forget about putting on my mask every morning. El was happy for me. I wasn't. I could never be free of my murders. I killed my father and mother. Though not intentionally, I still was the cause.

"I never did tell Saaya this. I guess I admit that I was afraid it would ruin my reputation. When your brother called Il and El over yesterday after school, I got angry at him for wasting my time. If I had nothing to do it, why bring me? I asked him and he didn't say anything. His eyes told me that I was here to support Il and El. But I never knew that I was going to support anyone. When El started to cry and even Il did too, I was surprised. Il never cried. But then her cries became flat out wails. I looked at Ikuto. He tossed me the letter written by "Queen." Then he tossed me your letter.

"That was when hell broke loose for me. I had no idea of someone that could be so alone. I knew it was Saaya who was Queen, but I asked hoping I was wrong. Il replied that it was Saaya. I groaned mentally at that time. I'm dating Saaya. I know I'm an idiot. I never knew what was hiding underneath her own sweet mask. I never saw her bully anyone. I never saw her tease or hurt anyone. I let my assumptions be right. When Il said that she would hurt Saaya so much that she wouldn't want to be living, I thought it meant that she did some pretty bad things to people. I never knew the Saaya Yamabuki that everyone else knew. I knew the sweet, cute, funny, and helpful Saaya.

"I'm sorry she ever hurt you. I'll take the blame. I couldn't stop her. I'm her boyfriend, I should know about all of this. But I'm breaking up with her on Monday when we get to school. I want to be trusted. I want to know your secrets. But I won't say a word. I'll be there when you want to kill yourself. I'll be there when you just want to cry. I'll be there for you to lean on. I'll be there to listen. I'll be your rant board if you want. I'll be there if you just want to die. I'll listen to your days. I'll be there for you. I'll stay overnight to make sure you're alright. I'll care for you. I'll stay there and I'll help you. I'll help you remove your scars and chains. I'll help you. I'll be that someone you need."

Silence.

"You know that'll take some time?" Utau said softly. Kukai looked at her. "You know, all those claims sound too good to be true. Sometimes, it's better to be alone." Something about her voice had changed. Kukai looked at her again. She was crying. Sometimes you have to live as a burden. It's okay if I'm alone. I'm used to it. It's okay if I want to be alone but not feel alone. It's okay. I know how to control my feelings now." She was plain out sobbing now. "I know that there are rumors. I know what they all are. I know everyone is afraid of me. But those aren't true. I'm not who everyone thinks I am. I promise that I'm not. At least I hope I'm not.

"In my letter I said to El, Il, Ikuto, and Amu to stay strong because I could never do that. Well, it's true. At the end of the day, I would gladly meet my room. I took one of my blades and I would cut. The relief eased into me. I could be happy with them. I let the darkness win and I was okay with that. I could trust myself. I knew that people stared at me when I entered the school ground. All talking around me was quiet. I can tell. I know there was a group of girls who hated me and spread mean things about me." Utau laughed. But it was hollow. It didn't sound like a laugh; one full of happiness and smiles. It sounded like something bitter. "And I knew Saaya was the ring leader. I hated her. I hated you. You, like everyone else believed the rumors.

"Only El, Il, Ikuto, and Amu knew the real me. Only they saw the truth behind Saaya's lies. You didn't seek out the truth. You went along with it. You would rather eat an octopus than be seen with me. That's what it was like with every single person. You, someone who had a million friends, a million fangirls and admirers, and a million awards. Me, someone who had four friends, no fanboys or admirers, and no awards.

"And I only had four people to trust. And I still have only four people to trust."

Kukai looked up. "I don't trust you. Now please, get out of my hospital room and next time, don't save me. Because if you're just trying to add to your achievements, I certainly don't want to be why you go great lengths."

Kukai stayed rooted to the spot.

"Unless you are deaf Souma, get out of my room."

Kukai stayed rooted to the spot.

Utau gritted her teeth. "Nurse!" she called out. The nurse came bustling over.

"Yes?"

"This man is bothering me. Can you take him out of my sights and never allow him near my room ever again?" The nurse nodded replying with a soft, "of course," and led Kukai out the room. Utau sighed and lay down on her pillow. "It's for the best after all."

…

Il was confused. Her best friend had just tried to drown herself and her brother, who hated Utau (the friend who drowned herself), just saved her which made no sense whatsoever to Il. Her brother had went into Utau's hospital room and came back stony faced and grumpy. When El had tried to ask what happened, it resulted in Kukai (Il's brother) snapping and starting to yell at El. El gave one last tearful glare and rushed out the door.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?" Il exclaimed angrily. "STOP STICKING YOUR FAT BUTT-LIKE HEAD IN THINGS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! GET OUT OR IM GOING TO MAKE YOU! GET THE HELL OUT! PRETENDING THAT YOU KNOW EVERYTHING! YOU ACT LIKE UTAU TRUSTS AND LOVES YOU! SO GET THE HELL OUT!

"I HATE YOU!" Il screamed.

"YOU WERE ALWAYS DISGUSTED IN THE FRIENDS I MADE AND YOU NEVER FAILED TO TALK ABOUT THEM. BUT I'VE ALWAYS SAID NOTHING ABOUT YOUR CHOICES. YOUR FRIENDS WILL ALL GO TO HELL, AND YOU WILL GO WITH THEM TOO! I HATE YOU!

"GET OUT!"

Il was shouting, screaming, shrieking like there was no tomorrow. She was half sobbing as well. "Leave," she screamed. Kukai left looking startled and ashamed. When silence crept into the room, Il said, "I'm sorry guys. I just lost control." Amu nodded understandingly. "Anyways," Il said sniffing, "let's check on Utau." Ikuto and Amu nodded and they opened the door.

The window was open and for the first time ever, Katsubushi [2] Hospital had its first patient escapee.

…

Utau ran. She had learned from her brother's cat-like reflexes. As Il was screaming, she opened the window, jumped, landed gracefully on her feet, and ran, her hair blowing in the rough wind. Many stared at her but didn't comment. She ran back to the bridge where she had tried to kill herself.

Taking a piece of paper and a pen [3], she wrote, _El, Il, Ikuto, Amu,_

_Gomen. But I'm pulled to here. I can't stay in this world. Stay strong._

_Hoshina Utau._

She looked for a rock to keep the note in place. She stepped onto the railing, smiled at the sky with tears streaming down her cheeks, took of deep breath, and jumped.

…

If it wasn't for the old lady who saw Utau jumped, then her plan would've went without a hitch. But no, the old lady had to scream. And coincidently, Kukai had to be sitting on a bench right in front of the bridge. Kukai herd the old lady scream and looked up just in time to see blonde hair submerge into the water making a huge splash. He rubbed his eyes. _You can't be serious, _he thought. _Shut up Kukai. Utau couldn't have escaped. _But to make sure, he dialed Ikuto's cell.

"Ikuto?"

[No, it's me Amu. Ikuto gave me his cell. He's busy at the moment. I know him as well as you do. So I'll try to answer your questions to the best of my abilities while Ikuto can't at the time. So, fire away Kukai. What do you need?]

"Listen; is Utau still in her room?"

[Er…no…. Apparently Ikuto taught her his cat-like reflexes and she jumped out the window.]

Kukai's breath hitched. _So it was her. _"Amu," he said in a small voice, "I think I know where Utau is."

…

**[1] I decided to make an OC sister for Utau. I chose Nana because Utau is played by someone who has the first name of Nana.**

**[2] Katsubushi Hospital is not real, at least, not that I am aware of.**

**[3] Don't ask me how she magically got a piece of paper and a pen. I don't know.**

**Thanks you for your time!**

**Please review and wait for the next chapter.**

**This will be a two-shot or three-shot and it will be my main focus. I do not own Shugo Chara or any characters mentioned except for Nana, the nurse, and the old lady. I hope you have a wonderful 2014. And remember, don't kill yourself. Even if there's this one person who doesn't like you, there's also one person who can't live without you. Don't stress over these things. If you need a stranger to talk to about your problems, I'll be here. Lol, I'll be that random stranger talking. **

**xoxo fanta.**


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